I Have A Problem- Maybe You Can Relate (The Gap and The Gain Book Club Summary)

We just finished another meeting of the quarterly book club we do with the leaders of our inspection company, Pro-spect. We discussed The Gap and The Gain by Dan Sullivan, and the takeaways were so good, I wanted to share them with you. 

The Problem

I have a problem. Maybe you can relate…every time I hit a goal, that bar to feeling accomplished and happy just keeps on moving. Especially before I read this book, I would check something off my list- no matter if it was a simple to-do or a big life goal- and move on to the next thing. This is common, I know. Our culture basically primes us for this type of thinking. Bigger, better, faster! Hustle, grind, you can sleep when you’re dead. You might get a lot done living like that, but you probably won’t feel much more than exhausted. 

The Pursuit of Happiness

The introduction of The Gap and The Gain starts with this sentence: “Thomas Jefferson penned the Declaration of Independence in 1776 and Americans have been unhappy ever since. One specific phrase has come to define American culture and psychology: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” The trouble is, this sets us up with the mindset that we’ll always be chasing happiness and never actually catching it. Pursuing happiness means that you're measuring your life against what you're pursuing, not what you already have. One of the main takeaways and a way to measure your mindset is summarized in the quote by Thomas Tidlund: “Happiness is where you start, not where you finish.” If we begin from a place of wholeness and gratitude, we can accomplish our goals without our happiness being tied up in them.

Measuring Backwards

That flows directly into the central idea of this book, which is to learn not to compare yourself to anyone but your past self. Most people set up a goal or an ideal, and are constantly measuring their progress against that future goal. Of course, that means if you fall short or don’t meet your goal, you feel like you’ve failed or you’re not good enough. That’s living in the gap. Imagine it like this: 

“The only way to measure the distance you’ve traveled is by measuring from where you are back to the point where you started.” ~Dan Sullivan

Living in the gain is looking back at the progress you’ve made from where you were- yesterday, last week, last month, last quarter, last year- and seeing how much you’ve grown to be where you are now. Once you can learn to catch yourself when your thinking goes into the gap, and switch to thinking in the gain, you’ll be surprised what it will do for your confidence, effectiveness, and energy. 

Write it Down

Journaling is a powerful tool to reflect on your progress, identify your wins, and reframe negative experiences as opportunities for growth. If you are a seasoned journaler, there are a lot of helpful journal prompts in the book, but if you are just getting started, here is quick way to begin training your brain to think in the gain. 

• Before bed write down 3 wins from the day
• Write down 3 wins you plan on for tomorrow
• Write down 3 things you’re thankful for

The benefits of this one practice (coupled with having an hour before bed without screens)  are pretty mind-blowing: increased productivity, clarified purpose, amplified brain function, lower stress levels, and better sleep. Uh, yes please!

A Parting Thought

There’s so much that happens in life that we can’t control, but what we can control is our own perspective and how we respond. If you feel like you could use some help in this area, I highly recommend you get The Gap and the Gain for yourself. There are so many nuggets of wisdom, and practical, helpful advice. If you read it, come back and let us know what your takeaways are!